Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you recognize you just can’t win? In homes where things aren’t going well, kids can end up in this situation often. Imagine a scenario where a mom is telling her daughter she needs to grow up – over, and over, and over again.
- “You’re late again! When will you grow up and be more responsible!”
- “You forgot your homework?!?! You’re so immature!”
- “Your room’s a pig sty! Act your age and clean this up!”
Let’s say on this last one that daughter has had enough, so she cleans up her room – top to bottom. In fact, as she does it, she decides to really do it right. She dusts, vacuums, and even rearranges her room to surprise her mom. When she proudly brings mom in to see what she’s accomplished…
“Why did you rearrange your room? I didn’t give you permission to do that!”
A lose-lose situation. In the world of counseling, this is called a pathogenic double bind. No matter what you do, you are going to lose.
According to Proverbs 26, this is the story when it comes to dealing with fools.
Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself.
Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes.Proverbs 26:4-5 (ESV)
These kinds of sayings are the majority of Proverbs 26. No matter what you do, no matter what you say, if you find yourself in the path of a fool, the only victory is not to play. In this chapter, interacting with the fool is compared with the usefulness of a paraplegic’s legs, gluing a stone in a slingshot, being impaled by a thorn, a dog eating its own vomit…
You get the idea.
If you find yourself in the pathway of someone who is just unwilling to reason, your best course is just not to engage. And get out of there as quickly as you can. They are not interested in reason.
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