Adultery. It’s everywhere. Think, when was the most recent time you ran across this topic? Within the past month? Week? 24 Hours? For me, it was sitting with my wife watching The Crown on Netflix, but really it’s just everywhere. Most recent popular television shows are wrought with it. A Million Little Things, Breaking Bad, Ozark, Scandal, and I’m sure plenty I’ve never heard of or seen have spousal cheating as a major plot point in the series. Well, it’s nothing new is it?
“My son, be attentive to my wisdom; incline your ear to my understanding, that you may keep discretion, and your lips may guard knowledge.
For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil, bit in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death…”Proverbs 5:1-5 (ESV)
As Solomon continues sharing wisdom, he transitions to warning against adultery in chapter 5, and stays with this topic throughout the chapter. It is especially interesting that Solomon’s first transition into practical advice about wisdom is in regard to the type of relationship that brought him into the world. It makes me wonder how much David shared with Solomon about the fallout from that act of adultery.
Did David share that he was someplace he shouldn’t have been when he caught sight of Bathsheba? Did David realize in hindsight all the opportunities he had to stop himself before Bathsheba was brought to him? Did David recount the pain of fully confronting his own sin when Nathan uttered, “You are the man!”? Did he recognize that his family fell apart due to his actions and inactions during and directly after the adulterous act?
Again, I wonder what exactly David shared with Solomon.
While we may not have a record of all David taught his son about adultery, Solomon definitely got the message. All of chapter 5, and portions of chapters 6 and 7 warn against adultery. In chapter 5, Solomon provides two teachings in particular: the long term result, and the solution to the temptation.
Integrity vs. Despair
In verses 7-14, Solomon warns the reader to steer clear of adultery because it will only bring ruin, and within this passage he makes specific mention of the end result.
“…, and at the end of your life you groan, when your flesh and body are consumed, and you say, “How I hated discipline, and my heart despised reproof! I did not listen to the voice of my teachers or incline my ear to my instructors. I am at the brink of utter ruin in the assembled congregation.”
Proverbs 5:11-14 (ESV)
Erik Erikson focuses on end of life issues in his final stage of development: Integrity vs. Despair. The main idea is that someone gets to the end of life and looks backward, inevitably having one of two basic reactions.
- The positive – “I did it. I’ve lived a satisfying life.”
- The negative – “Oh, no! I’ve wasted it, and now it’s too late!”
From Solomon’s perspective, adultery only leads to option #2: A lack of discipline, rejection of correction, and instruction falling on deaf ears.
In short, moving toward adultery indicates intentional ignoring of wisdom. And it really only happens in one way. Looking for greener grass.
The Grass is NEVER Greener
You know that old saying, “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence?” Well, that’s usually only true when you haven’t been tending your own grass. Interestingly, tending your own grass is exactly what Solomon recommends in order to avoid adultery.
“Drink water from your own cistern…and rejoice in the wife of your youth,…be intoxicated always in her love.”
Proverbs 5:15, 18, and 19 (ESV)
If people would focus on really loving their spouses, cultivating that relationship above all other human relationships, then the grass on the other side of any fence will never be able to keep up with how beautiful the grass is in their own yards.
But like a real yard, you have to do that on purpose. So, be intentional about loving your spouse, today and everyday. That way, when your draw your last breath, you will be much more likely to look back on a life well lived.
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